Q&A x Care Failure

care

Care Failure has been doing her own thing since tweenhood at art school in the suburbs of Toronto. A songwriter and musician, she’s toured the world with her long-time band Die Mannequin, playing countless dive bars, rock festivals, and opening for Guns N’ Roses and Marilyn Manson. In 2011, Care and D.M. were featured in Hard Core Logo 2, a Canadian rock mockumentary.

Alongside band mate Kevvy Mental, Care is currently clandestine in the depths of Vancouver, working on a new album (release date TBD).

Below, the sui generis answers this series of ten questions.

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If your life were a reality show, what would it be called?
Dance Moms.

But if that’s taken, then Suddenly Psychic.

Who might’ve you been in a past life?
A toaster.

But strangely, when I was a kid I’d apparently often tell people I had previously lived in a ravine in my area as a small fox. I shit you not. I don’t know why or how, but until I was about 6 or 7 I had all these memories of being a little wolf-y fox-like creature from the area.

But most likely, I was just a toaster.

What posters covered your childhood bedroom walls?
Big ones. Small ones. Some were just obscured tiny-ass disheveled thumbnail jpegs that I printed off-the-internet, to create these giant mosaics of evil. Others were transcribed interviews I would print off the internet that you could pull and fold out off the wall and read. It was amazing I had time for all that since I was obviously very cool and very popular with no extra time on my hands…

I dove in deep – and relatively young – when I was doing all this, as I was playing guitar half-well by the time I was 10. So Sonic Youth, The Melvins, Beck, The Pixies – These were the Gods I prayed to and who I plastered around my room. I was a snobby little fucker looking back.

My parents were very strict with that kind of stuff, and my posters were all destroyed by the time I was 12. But old copies of Sassy, Guitar World, etc. – shit was epic.

If you were a donut what kind would you be?
The free kind you get after midnight in the alley behind the donut shop… or if you walk in right before they close and say “Pleeeeeeeeease?”.

I think the guy at the Coffee Time or whatever that is near Queen and Dufferin used to save me the stale ones before he’d throw ‘em out back when I was a teenage hobo.

It was mostly a take-take relationship…

Create a Roller Derby name for yourself.
Patti Shit.

Favourite down-time activity?
Making more down-time.

Sleep. And making weird robot sounds – if I’m in a good mood.

Is there anyone you’d Freaky Friday with for a day?
Kat Von D’s cat Poe. My man Kevvy (who also plays with me in DM, as well as his band Fake Shark) lived with Kat for a while when he was working on her album (which may sadly never see the light of day…). He of course became quite fond of her, along with her gaggle of adorable hairless kitties. But specifically her kitty-cat Poe.

Cat life is a pretty sweet deal already – and even that said, as far as kitty-life goes I have a feeling that kitty has it made.

Living or dead, who would you invite to a dinner party?
My social life. (Recently deceased.)

And perhaps Mitch Hedberg and Elliott Smith. They’d be lovely company, and we’d probably get weird and sloppy later. So there’s that….

How many cats is too many? (Asking for a friend…)
Right… A “friend”…

Well, in loo of an actual number, I would have to say you know you have too many cats if:
– You’re stepping on cats where there should be floor.
– Or, if when you’re de-hoarding your stack of VHS tapes and you accidentally find a dead cat carcass that has fossilized of a cat you hadn’t seen in a while. I’d say that would probably be my first inclination that I have too many cats.
– Also, if your natural musk becomes this pissy-dandruff smelling hybrid. Even when you’re out of the house.

Where do you see yourself in 10 days?
In a mirror.

Or if I’m lucky, I will vaguely see my troll-ass self in my cell phone’s blank screen reflection.. If I clean the Pizza jizz and foundation grease off it.

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Follow Care + Die Mannequin on Instagram and Facebook.

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