Thirty-Something Woman’s Partner Qualification Checklist Grows

TORONTO, ON — A break-up is not uncommon, but in the case of Brenda, 35, a moderately high-strung banker with no time for shenanigans, the method of which one occurred was especially unique.

Amid a life-long quest for ‘The One’, Brenda recently divulged to a co-worker that she ended a promising two-month relationship via email after not receiving a single reply from her partner over the course of a weekend. The former couple had been happily inseparable until Glen, 32, decided to attend a weekend retreat. She went on to state that her now-ex-boyfriend should have made more of an effort to be available. Though Glen had warned he would have limited access to WiFi, Brenda came to the conclusion that this lack of availability is a red flag for a successful future together. “I couldn’t help but feel strewn aside. I don’t think he’s ready for a relationship”, said Brenda in between sips of Sake at Bay St. hot spot Ki. “Before I knew it, I had formed a solid argument and we’d broken up. I’m reeling from the loss, but am on the mend. I realize now that a man without a reliable internet provider is not a man for me.” After the server asked how she enjoyed her meal, smiling, Brenda replied, “Fine. Just fine…”.

In regard to Brenda’s overall mental state, neither server nor co-worker were available for comment.

Glen is expected back in town on Tuesday but probably won’t check his emails until late Wednesday afternoon, anyway.

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