Chelsea Handler Bang-Bangs Toronto

“This isn’t interactive” she drawled at a bold audience member in signature Chelsea Handler unimpressed candor, before beginning her stand-up set at Toronto’s Massey Hall Saturday night.

The late-night talk show host, stand-up comedienne, and my own personal hero finally blessed Canadialand with her presence — a stop on her Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang tour, promoting third book by the same name. Naturally, the tour would be sponsored by Belvedere Vodka.

Assessing the audience, the Chelsea Handler demographic is a spattering of 20-somethings and loyal gays, but when asked, the majority of cheers came from the over thirty set. (Girls night out!) Through massive applause, Chelsea sauntered onto stage to an intro montage of various clips from Chelsea Lately, Akon’s Sexy Bitch blasting over visuals of her outrageous antics. Her set was a recounting of life stories taken from her best-selling book, including a dedication to ball jokes, PETA having a field day with her show’s content, and The Asian Coalition being kept busy by Miss Handler’s bold remarks. If your name happens to be “D’Myracle”, you will feel exposed while getting tossed into a whirlwind of comedic stylings.

Playing up intrigue, casually thrown about her set were subtle jokes regarding the speculation of Chelsea dating rapper 50 Cent. I would mock myself too. Along with the Fitty-situation, recent entertainment news drivel has decided to shine a foggy spotlight on “Chelsea Handler’s heated feud with Angelina Jolie“. I’m all for over-dramatics, but that so-called “headline” is cringe-worthy. It began with an audience video taken from one of Chelsea’s recent stand-up gigs, which showed her calling Jolie a “homewrecker” with conviction. So, of course, the mass pop-fuck media got a hold of said clip and spun it into a hot new celebretard feud. If you want to add a layer of gossip, you can say that Handler is “Team Aniston” — but isn’t this all so 2000-and-late? That being said, the only mention of Angelina Jolie in Chelsea’s Toronto show was some mild poking at her adoptive kids… Oh, and she may have said that she hates AJ. This has sparked what the Ben Mulroneys of the world term “backlash”, but Chelsea Handler is one badass bitch who is not apologizing for it. Known for bluntness and sarcasm, Chelsea’s well-known image is definitely true to form. But that’s why we love her, right?

Taking the Canadian location into consideration, both Chelsea and opener Chris Franjola dropped in a Toronto Maple Leafs vs. Montreal Canadiens reference into their sets. Chris went on to speculate the necessity of the game (or anything, including Avatar) being broadcast in 3D; “You know what else is in 3D? Real life!” Word, Chris. I’ve been saying that for… months. A regular on Chelsea Lately’s guest panel, Fanjola is partial to dick jokes and had the audience’s full attention, picking on “deep-V-neck guy” up front.

Chelsea’s approximate hour-long set ended with the recounting of her 8-year-old self discovering masturbation at a sleepover party — a nearly direct retelling taken from her book. If you had read it, you knew what the next part of her story was going to be, but seeing the reenactment in person was not a disappointment as unreserved actions were included throughout.

An overwhelmingly receptive crowd permeated the venue with hysterical laughter all evening, fully welcoming Handler to town. Having started off as a comedian with a little E! Network show-that-could, Chelsea Handler has launched an empire and seemingly ironically become a full-blown celebrity in her own right.

Bang on, girl. Bang on.

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