The ABC’s of Electronic Harmony: Internet Flirting How-To

Win over the heart of any modern-day internet-savvy girl with this guide to virtual seduction, featuring real quotes from real men behind real screens.

1. Make her feel special by separating her from the rest of the fame-whoring pack: “I think I lurk you more than anyone, ever.

2. Compliment her profile photo photography skills: “Your new picture makes me want to kidnap you in the hope you get Stockholm Syndrome…

3. Share with her your day-to-day activities, hobbies, and interests: “At least once a week I go through all your pics.

4. Compliment her endearing personality: “Maybe it’s your sense of, like, shut down, that makes you so sexy.

5. When in doubt, misplace enthusiasm after a possibly risqué comment: “Hahahahahaha“.

6. Finally, to solidify the affection, be sure to keep up with her extensive social-networking: Facebook, Twitter, Formspring, Tumblr, YouTube, her blog, and even MySpace — (You’ll get away with most on this one).

Remember, patience is a virtue. After all, you are competing with the life partner that is her laptop.

And if life ultimately fails you, there will always be this thing called Chatroulette.


  1. Forman Lauren


  2. Fucking priceless!!!
    (LOL! Stop enabling!)

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